First Encounter
In 2018, when I was 21, I experienced an intense panic attack. During that panic-attack I paused to ask "who" is having this panic attack. I found myself to be a witness of this panic attack and in that moment a back-ground process in my mind temporarily stopped; suddenly my body lost its "boundaries"; this was my first ego-death. The panic attack continued but there was just no "meaning" to that sensation.
This revealed two things to me:
- When your brain loses the concept of "self", the sensations of pain and suffering become meaningless signals. This is likely what Buddha, Jesus, Patanjali and other mystics experienced too.
- Consciousness has rarer states worth exploring. For ex. you can have a state where the ego is turned off and pain is turn on. Lucid dreaming is another such rare state.
I am interested in operating in different states of consciousness. I will document here what I've been doing to make it happen.